Tuesday 13 December 2011

Looking For a Place to Stay..

"Oh no, not another transfer!", said Leena helplessly. Sunny smiled unsurely. He always smiled when he wanted to a) assure her that all is well and b) when he wanted to assure HIMSELF that all is well. "Oh well, I suppose this is what life is all about", said Leena consoling herself."One has to move with the times, as they say, sometimes in one city and sometimes in another; it's all for the ultimate good". "Yes, of course", said Sunny, now a little more courageously, knowing that this was his wife's way of getting around to his way of thinking.
In a matter of two weeks after this conversation, Sunny and Leena, had boarded a Mumbai-Bangalore flight, and were off to begin a new chapter of their lives,in a new city.Leena had a home-based job as an insurance agent, and Sunny worked with a Multinational company,in the software division. When their plane landed, the couple squeezed each other's hand in happiness...they had planned to do so much together: this was an opportunity for a fresh start.
From their cab, Leena peered out of the window, wide-eyed, staring at the newly built airport road,while Sunny noted the bracing climate of the place: a feature of Bangalore he had heard so much of. The couple alighted an hour later from their taxi, with their minimum luggage, as the rest of their possessions were travelling courtesy the "Roadways"....and that amounted to pretty much their sole worldy possessions. They were welcomed in by their guest house staff, and it was here that they would stay for the next two weeks: a time period fixed by Sunny's company in which they would have to find accomodation of their own. Settling down in a well-lit,neat and comfortable room, Leena plonked herself on the bed."Oh, the luxury of
stretching out...!" Sunny smiled indulgently. He loved seeing his wife happy.
The following days passed in a blur,with Sunny joining his new job, and Leena pouring over the "Free Ads" classified columns, in search of real estate agents and accomodation. All houses seemed to be described in the same language: 'Comfortable, 2 BHK accomodation, all facilities provided, near offices,schools and convenient market place, pleasant surroundings...please contact XYZ.. It was most confusing, but after buying a city map and marking out her area of interest,the houses'preferred location started getting a little clearer to identify and short list.
They saw plenty of houses. Some small, some dingy, some large from the outside, but poorly ventilated from the inside. Some houses offered views, while some,none at all. Ultimately, they stumbled across a "largish" row house. Their estate agent was most eager to show them around. " See Madam," he said as if he had struck gold. " Beautiful house, excellent location, no problem!" Leena and Sunny smiled back at him. This was the nearest they had got to liking a house, and since their stay period at the guest house was coming to an end, it was high time they had a place of their own. There was something though, about this faux red-brick facade structure that bothered her: maybe it was in the way some broken statues of Ganesh, the Elephant God, were displayed in the tiny patch of grass that passed as a lawn; maybe it was the heaviness of the air that comes with an old house, or maybe it was the quaint layout of the house which was a trifle unsettling...But they both ignored these feelings, thinking that it was just a matter of time before they adjusted to their new surroundings.
Leena settled into a state of happy domestic life, managing her home, work and taking time out to be together as a couple.The doubts remained though. It was the house they were now occupying and living in. She had heard sounds in the night, but was never sure of it's source. At times she heard a door shut suddenly, even when there was no wind. Once, she had woken up at night, to have a drink of water from the fridge,and when she switched on the light, she could have sworn there was a movement, as if, someone, sensing her arrival had just fled and gone into hiding. Most of the times, the experiences were so subtle, that she doubted herself, and credited it to her over-active imagination. She had told Sunny, but he too laughed it off. Nothing happened for weeks after this, and days passed by happily into months.
One day, as Leena entered her room during noon, she spied a little girl with long braids, playing on her bed. The girl glanced momentarily at her, and then vanished into thin air: as if she were a cloud. Leena gasped, and then felt faint. Was this the girl who resided in her house, along with them? Whose lost soul still yearned the comfort of a home and family? That evening,she waited patiently for Sunny to return from office and break the news to him.
" But that is just impossible!" said Sunny to Leena, when he heard her story."I think a holiday is the need of the day. Let's just go away to a nice, relaxed holiday where it'll be just you and I and nobody else". Leena smiled. Sunny always had a reassuring way of putting things...she already felt better.
After a ten day break in the beautiful locales of Ooty, and then Kodaikanal, the couple were back refreshed, and ready to take on the world. Happily, Leena unpacked their luggage, and got her home back in order. The weather was great, the spirits were high, and life settled down to routine.
Sunny meanwhile, had to leave town for a few days on a business trip; it was to be a short one, so Leena didn't mind at all. She'd planned to do a bit of home improvement in this short time, so it was time that wouldn't go wasted.
Three days later, when Sunny returned from home from his official trip, he rang the bell and waited for his wife to answer the door. There was no response. He tried her cell phone. There was an "unavailable" message on it. Finally, he went around the house, to the back door, and forced it open. "Leena!" he cried. "I'm home! Where are you?" There was pin drop silence. Sunny opened his bedroom door. To his amazement and horror, there sat on the bed, a little girl with long braids, playing contentedly.Seeing him,the girl vanished like a mist all at once. Sunny's terrified eyes then saw his wife lying on the floor, eyes open as if in shock, and quite dead.

8 comments:

  1. Nice one, loved the suspense being built up :) The last line is not needed, perhaps, as without it, there are lot of story possibilities! And yes, you should collect all ur ghost stories into a collection!

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  2. Rumadi,
    This is a great one - has the potential to generate goosebumps. :-) Keep going! You are certainly talented in the ghost-story writing genre.

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  3. I had goosebumps while i was reading your story...your house description seemed a bit like the koramangla one...you indeed have the gift of story telling...may they keep pouring in :)

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  4. Dear Ruma,
    Congrats..one more added to the quiver. Nice story build-up, nice description. I agree with Mr.Vijay Krishnan's comment of having left the end to the reader's imagination. B having said that, I must say that it was indeed nice reading. Do keep scaring us more!!
    Rgds
    Tara

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  5. wow! this was nice. i suggest, you could work on the ending a bit to make it more thrilling.. adding a couple of twists.. like, i don't know, ok, maybe like Leela befriends the girl soul/ghost but then because a ghost has its own motives, it kills Leela anyway.. something like that.. you know what i mean?
    :)
    Keep writing!

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  6. wow, I like the way in which the story weaves towards its eventual end

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  7. hello i am alpha
    i read your blog it's really nice suggestion
    thank you very much

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  8. really nice... of how you built it up (by providing the right ambience for the story). keep the suspense by stopping in the last line at floor.. let the reader's imagination soar to determine whether she was alive or dead.. it's like the question arising what happened next ? another thing you could probably do in your writings is build a psychological lens of viewing the characters,that gives a glimpse into their thought processes which makes it more intersting and gives dimensions to the characters, e.g Leena had a home based job as an insurance agent and Sunny worked in a multinational company to probably Leena being a homebody preferred working as a insurance agent from her home as this gave her more time to do domestic stuff like watering plants, dusting her small collection of ganeshas etc as she loved maintaining the cosy space of her tiny flat. To saturate her vivid imagination she loved going to art galleries. Sunny was your typical IT engineer working in systems inc software services who loved going to cricket matches in his spare time. This probably has nothing much to with the little girl who Leena sees but you could pose a doubt in the reader's mind about whether the girl she saw was a part of her imagination or something more real as indicated in the end. From an account of events the story becomes a, a living 4 dimensional experience for the reader in space and time. I attended "the art of short story " at the jaipur lit festival. I think if you are able to attend lit festivals they give you perspective. Ben okri said being is seeing, so if you put yourself in the shoes of each character or wear different hats,instead of feeling the story in third person the experience of the story becomes more vivid to the reader. HAVE SAID TOO MUCH, BUT HOPE THIS HELPS.

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